fear

i love this.

http://us.penguingroup.com/static/html/blogs/guest-author/not-book-keri-smith

i recommend reading through all three posts.

it is hard to deal with fear, and to let yourself be content with who you are. many people want change in their lives, but stay where they are because of fear. i’ve certainly fallen victim to fear in this way.

keri smith’s recent posts (via the above link) are a great answer to fear. (for instance- “mistakes are good. (as long as they don’t kill you.)” helps you look at failure in a new way.)

speaking of fear, i dealt with a spell of it yesterday. i have started driving again in the past couple months, after not driving at all for 6 years or so. (i didn’t have a car and was a student on a small campus with great public transportation.) so, as you can imagine, i am not exactly graceful behind the wheel. i can get from here to there safely, of course…but it’s a little goofy at times.

so why was i afraid yesterday? well, i made a commitment to drive to greensboro from my new home town of winston-salem. i wanted to meet some etsy sellers in the area, to learn more about becoming a seller (as that is a dream of mine.) a few sellers were going to be at a local craft show there. (as mentioned with excitement in my previous post. guess my friend mr. fear hadn’t shown up yet.)

i planned to leave around 5:30 pm, after i finished some design work. as the day wore on, i periodically felt my heart pumping rapidly, and my hands grow cold and clammy. i was letting fears of driving alone to this new city creep up in my mind. a couple times i heard a tiny voice say, “you can always postpone it. you’ll only be able to stay for a half hour anyway.”

i could have let that voice grow large in my mind. i could have listened to it. but i shoved it down, and out of my head. when the time came to leave, i plucked up my courage, and thought of what awaited me- of the people i would meet, and how talking to them would help me achieve my dream. my belly still fluttered with anxiety, but i got in the car, took a deep breath, and started the ignition. before i knew it i was on the highway, headed to greensboro. “oh well.” i thought. “i’m on my way…might as well keep going.”

and i did keep going. all the way to greensboro, and back again. was the drive serene? not exactly. but i conquered my fear. that would have been enough for me. but i managed to meet some great people, and move one step closer to fulfilling my dream.

fear is part of being human. it is a necessary and helpful emotion. the trick is knowing when it is blocking you from your fullest potential. in that case, you’ve got to pat it on the head and say, “that’s nice but i’ve got dreams to fulfill, buddy. i can’t listen to you right now.” the fear will linger still, wandering around on the sidelines of your consciousness. and that’s fine. let it wander. just don’t give in.

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